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Diet Cokes See Craig to the Winner's Circle

by Bob Levey

His victory lunch consisted of two courses, not six. But M. Craig Wolf washed it all down with two Diet Cokes. He is not only a talented winner of our monthly neologism contest. His Diet Cokes prove that he is an appropriate winner, too.

Like about 3,000 fellow wordsmiths, Craig tried his hand at our monthly make-up-a-word contest. The November challenge was:

Losing weight is a national obsession. But some dieters don't give it their all. What do you call people who eat a six-course meal and wash it down with diet soda "because I'm watching my weight"?

Craig's winning entry:

Denieters.

That neatly marries "deny" with "dieters." It brought a wide smile to this flab-afflicted face.

During his victory lunch at Bangkok One, a Thai place on K Street NW, our winner said he's a veteran of many diets, all of which have worked for him.

But much of his exercise these days is mental, since he commutes to downtown Washington from Frederick County each workday. That hour-plus train trip gives him time to work crosswords and give the neologism contest his best shot. Obviously, in November, his best shot was good enough.

Craig Wolf is general counsel of the Wine and Spirits Wholesalers of America Inc. He served previously as a prosecutor for the Justice Department and an assistant state's attorney in Allegany County, Md. He and his wife, Sally, have a 5-year-old daughter, Hannah, and a 3-year-old son, Zachary. Congratulations to a worthy winner.

Almosts and Nearlies for November were:

Hippocrites: No less than 67 entrants. Ray Stevens was first.

Lieters: Margie Pekala, of Bowie.

Hedgetarians: Recent champ Joe Ferry, of Erdenheim, Pa.

Flabricators: Recent two-time champ Susan Mayer, of Taos, N.M., first, then 14 more.

Prevariceaters: Former champ Roger M. Firestone.

Sipocrites: Sue Yanovski, of Rockville, first, then 13 more.

Pounderosas: Sally Pfoutz, of Herndon.

Fastidiots: Sidney Secular, of Silver Spring.

De-lose-ional: Marybeth Stoddard, of Alexandria.

Deli-usional: Carlin Hetzler, of Ellicott City, and Steve Kopstein, of Oakton.

Delugeianal: Phil Frankenfeld, of Northwest Washington, and Leigh Washburn, of Silver Spring.

Pseudonymphs: Former champ Everett Rice, of Columbia.

Bellyacres: E. James Lieberman.

Flaboteurs: Former champ Dawn Kral, of Waldorf.

Slobtimists: Pauline Goderstad.

Coca Naughters: Idalia Sanchez, of Silver Spring.

Gweight Pretenders: Sally Stokes.

Diettantes: Greg Dobbins, of Arlington, Hans Kurt Buettner, of Fairfax, and John Held.

Lipidiots: Steve Rossi.

Ration-alizers: Former champ Marlene B. Cohen, of Columbia.

Weight-Botchers: Mary Frances Ryan, of Capitol Hill, first, followed by 11 just like hers.

Dijesters: Former champ Cathy Smith Caviness, of Clifton.

Obfoodscaters: Alma Hale Paty.

Adiposeurs: Former champ Jayne Townend, and John J. Crowley.

Deja Fou: Jim Exnicios, of Woodbridge.

Extrimists: Clarence M. Johnson, of Beltsville.

Soda Jerks: Carol Ormes, of Silver Spring.

Dishful Thinkers: Nick Flokos, of McLean.

Fizzful Thinkers: Myrna Byer, of Silver Spring.

Pepsi Wise, Pound Foolish: Rich Maltagliati, Lance Miller and Janet Marantz.

Hypopcrisy: Joan Weill.

Self-Defeeding: Courtenay Brinckerhoff, of Alexandria.

Asperdames: Neil Shawen, of Falls Church.

Chompensators: Former champ Anne S. Rowan, of Northwest Washington.

Mealnipulators: Art Shaffer.

And Scarflaws: Former champ Tom Witte, of Gaithersburg.

As excellent as a six-course meal, gang. Let's see if you're up to the December challenge, which will stretch your brains the way meals stretch your waistlines:

Back in the 1960s, you lived "the life" – rock music, illicit substances, recreational sex whenever, with whomever. But now it's 35 years later, you have children of your own and you're the strictest parent in captivity. This change of attitude is called... (Click to see winning entries)

One thing hasn't changed since way back when: first prize in this contest. It's a free lunch, at a restaurant of the winner's choice, in or near Washington. Rock music, illicit substances and recreational sex are not included.

Contest rules: You may enter as often as you like, on one piece of paper or several. Joint entries are welcome. So are entries submitted by fax (202-334-5150) and by e-mail (leveyb@washpost.com). Entries must bear day and evening phone numbers, including area code(s). All entries become my property. Entries will not be accepted by phone or returned. In case of duplicate winning entries, I'll choose the one I receive first.

Please mail entries to Bob Levey, The Washington Post, Washington, D.C. 20071. Entries for the December contest must be received by Dec. 29.

© 2000 Bob Levey (leveyb@washpost.com).
This article is reproduced with the kind permission of the author.


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