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Spoonerisms

The Fun-with-words.com Spoonerism archive starts with a section devoted to genuine Spoonerisms – those that have been attributed to the Rev. William Archibald Spooner himself. Following that are several more amusing Spoonerisms, and whole section of playing card Spoonerisms.

Spooner's Spoonerisms

fighting a liarlighting a fire
you hissed my mystery lectureyou missed my history lecture
cattle ships and bruisersbattle ships and cruisers
nosey little cookcosy little nook
a blushing crowa crushing blow
tons of soilsons of toil
our queer old Deanour dear old Queen
we'll have the hags flung outwe'll have the flags hung out
you've tasted two wormsyou've wasted two terms
our shoving leopardour loving shepherd
a half-warmed fisha half-formed wish
is the bean dizzy?is the Dean busy?

More Funny Spoonerisms

know your blowsblow your nose
go and shake a towergo and take a shower
tease my earsease my tears
nicking your posepicking your nose
you have very mad bannersyou have very bad manners
lack of piespack of lies
it's roaring with painit's pouring with rain
sealing the hickhealing the sick
go help me sodso help me God
pit nickingnit picking
bowel feastfoul beast
I'm a damp stealerI'm a stamp dealer
hypodemic nurdlehypodermic needle
wave the sailssave the whales
chipping the flannel on TVflipping the channel on TV
mad bunnybad money
I'm shout of the hourI'm out of the shower
lead of spitespeed of light
this is the pun fartthis is the fun part
I hit my bunny phoneI hit my funny bone
flutter bybutterfly
bedding wellswedding bells
I must mend the sailI must send the mail
cop pornpopcorn
it crawls through the faxit falls through the cracks
my zips are lippedmy lips are zipped
bat flatteryflat battery
would you like a nasal hut?would you like a hazel nut?
puke oncoupon
belly jeansjelly beans
eye ballbye all
fight in your raceright in your face
ready as a stocksteady as a rock
no tailstoe nails
hiss and learlisten here
soul of balladbowl of salad

Cack of Pards Spoonerisms

Two of Hearts2♥Who of tarts?
Four of Hearts4♥Whore of farts
Eight of Hearts8♥Hate of Arts
Ten of Hearts10♥Hen of tarts
Ace of SpadesA♠Space of aids
Four of Spades4♠Spore of fades
Eight of Spades8♠Spate of AIDS
Four of Diamonds4♦Door of fireman's
Five of Diamonds5♦Dive of fireman's
Six of Diamonds6♦Dicks of Simon's
Two of Clubs2♣Clue of tubs
Five of Clubs5♣Clive of Fubbs

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